Mini Mixtape: “Breakup Bops”

So, I recently switched back to an iPhone from my De-googled phone. I still would prefer to be de-googled but I was just having too many issues. Might revisit that phone later, but I’ve been rediscovering some of my old Apple Music faves and as I was listening I realized… damn, I really do just love a breakup song, huh?

This short mixtape (only 15 songs total) includes most of my favorite high-energy breakup songs—or at least all the ones I’ve found so far. This is not the place for dreary droning ballads of long lost love. For this playlist, there may be tears in your eyes, but you’re still dancing about it. Let’s split this baby up into 3 sections, shall we?

I Miss What We Used to Have

These are the “I know what I want and it’s still you” songs. Yeah, we broke up, but I’m not over you, and I don’t think you’re over me either… let’s do something about that.

Colourblind - Peach PRC: As an artist, I love all the little color references—a rainbow washed in turpentine, anyone? This is the one for everyone who let their lover go, only to immediately regret their decision. “I’m not saying I love you, I just mean, maybe grass on your side really was green…” I also enjoy the little “video game” noises throughout. It’s a cute one.

Move On - AJ Mitchell: “Baby, I don't really ever wanna move on…” Ok, but who is meeting you outside with their shoes off? We’re firmly planted in the we’re getting back together mindset for this one. Still pretty cute, but we’re about to get steamy…

Folded - Kehlani: This is a sexy one by one of my favorite (queer) R&B artists, hot off their new album. “No matter what you do to switch the story up, I know I made my mark. And I would still choose you through it all, that's the crazy part (crazy part). I don't need no more empty promises, promise me that you got it.” Come pick up your clothes, and you know what, actually, just leave ‘em here… who needs ‘em. Actually, no clothes is better.

Better Undressed - GIRLI: Speaking of… Girli waxes poetic over whether you can ever really be friends with someone you used to fuck. Her answer, though, to this age old question is easy enough to find: “lovers to friends never works in the end, now I know what you’re like on top. I like your skin on my skin, it feels good when we sin and I don't think that it should stop.” You know, I don’t like an on-again-off-again relationship, but this song almost makes me wanna change my mind. Almost.

Think About You - JoJo: I’m just gonna say it, JoJo is underrated. I love her and I always have. She’s only getting better with age. Sometimes your friends just don’t know what’s right for you. Sometimes a rebound just isn’t the answer. “Pretty good sex” just ain’t gonna do it for ya. “So if it seems like somebody took your spot, well, that's just not true. Whatever I do I'm gonna think of you.”

Somebody Else - the 1975: This song is just steeped in denial. No, no, I don’t want you, I just don’t want to see you with someone else. Whatever you gotta tell yourself, babe. “Our love has gone cold. You're intertwining your soul with somebody else. I'm looking through you while you're looking through your phone and then leaving with somebody else. No, I don't want your body, but I'm picturing your body with somebody else.” Great beat, great imagery in the lyrics, all around probably one of my favorite songs by the 1975.

Stayaway (Now, Now Remix) - MUNA: How do you stay away from the only person you really want to be around? Everything you see, everything you do just reminds you of them. The bridge, I think, especially gets me in my feels. She goes on making excuses for her love and how they probably didn’t even mean to hurt her, you know… maybe we could still fix things… “Any little misstep, I'll be at your doorstep, talking 'bout forgiveness. Giving you my heart back. Just so you can break it one more time before I say I gotta stay away.” Stay away, girl, you deserve better.

Please Just Let Me Go

You know that ex that just happens to reach out every damn time you started moving on? This section goes out to that bastard. Let them find their booty-call elsewhere.

Narcissus - Lilyisthatyou: This one starts out like a song that could’ve gone in the previous section… but it definitely unfolds into more of a “leave me alone” type ballad as she runs through the situation. At the end she starts acknowledging her lover’s avoidant tendencies and realizes it’s time to let go. “Don't you ever call me, tell me that you miss it. Only wanna crawl back just so you can twist it, turn us into something, make yourself the victim.”

Insomnia - Normani: This one really outlines how you can be fine one minute, until suddenly you get that call and you’re right back where you started—in pain. “I wonder how you know that I've been movin' on 'cause it seems like you really love to make that shit impossible.” It’s time to test out your block button, my friend. Give yourself the gift of peace.

Here We Go (Uh Oh) - Coco Jones: This one is really reminiscent on the same jackass Normani is singing about, but with an extra dose of on-again-off-again shenanigans. “I know when you said goodbye, you ain't mean no goodbye…. Why I gotta be the bigger man? You just wanna be the middle man, tryna get in between.” No good. I think it’s time we ditch these assholes. It’s always about them, anyway, isn’t it?

Josh - Peach PRC:You know the type, still lives at home, talks a bunch of shit, but ain’t worth a shit. “I know you're gonna hear this song on all the playlists it comes on, and all the girls who've dated Josh will sing a long…” oop. We’re officially over them and it’s time to move the fuck on. Blocked!

DIY - Stela Cole: Here’s another one for the manchild in your life. “Get your shit together, Mr. Superstar… I believe in you… have you tried calling your mom?” This song is so savage, I love it. Blare this in your car speakers as you drive home from dumping your shitty ex-boyfriend. Feels good don’t it?

Better On My Own

In this section we’re fully past the bullshit. We’ve moved on. Have you? We don’t know and honestly we really don’t care. Denial is just another river. Go take a dip if you like, we’re gonna stay here where it’s dry. Byeeee.

My Kink is Karma - Chappell Roan: I think this is one of the best, most underrated Chappell songs. It’s actually the first one I ever heard by her, and I’m obsessed with the campy music video. In this song, we officially don’t want our ex anymore… but that doesn’t mean we don’t enjoy watching bad things happen to them… “Wishing you the best, in the worst way. Using your distress as foreplay. Six months since April and I'm doing better. No need to be hateful in your fake Gucci sweater.” I’m not saying it’s the healthiest way to feel… but it certainly is a way to feel.

Narcissist - No Rome (feat. The 1975): All I really have to say about this one is, maybe don’t? Maybe don’t fall in love with your ex’s friend and take a bunch of acid? It’s a bop, though, I can’t deny it. And then there’s the main chorus which is likely relatable to everyone… “I've been seeing somebody, but I've not found a way to tell you that I'm seeing somebody. There's not a nice way for me to say that I've been seeing somebody. You know I want you to be happy, since I'm seeing somebody, and then maybe we can get on with it.” We’ve all been there, right? AWKWARD.

Cross You Out - Charli XCX (feat. Sky Ferreira): Sometimes all you really need is space. This song is all about finding yourself again after a breakup. You’ve given yourself the time and space you needed to heal and you’ve officially moved on. “I've become someone better, now I look in the mirror and I learn myself better. I've become someone better. Now I look in the mirror. Feels so good to forget ya.”

So What - Muna: This is the newest song on this playlist and honestly I adore it. It’s giving I don’t need you when I’ve got all these other people who actually love me for who I am. “The reviews came in. The fangirls and the harshest critics are all in agreement, it's our best work without you in it.” We officially don’t care about our ex anymore. Not one bit.

Honorable mention:

Mature - Hilary Duff: Hilary is another one of those artists I feel like is aging like a fine wine. I’m only liking her more and more as the years pass. In this song she reflects on her ex chasing (yet another) girl who is way too young for him. I love the way she doesn’t diss the new girl at all, she places the blame where it belongs… in this man’s lap. “I can't put it on her, she's a sweet kid, but she's taking the bait like we all did. She looks like all of your girls but blonder. A little like me, just younger. Bet she loves when she hears you say ‘You're so mature for your age, babe.’ She looks like she could be your daughter. Like me before I got smarter. When I was flattered to hear you say ‘you're so mature for your age, babe.’” “Roommates” probably would’ve made the list if it weren’t more of a before the breakup song.